id be glad to
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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