I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
