I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
