i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
