I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
