I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize