i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
40s are totally the cure
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
