Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love having hate sex.
He felt like a one man threesome
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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