wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
