why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
