Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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