why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
