I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
