After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
