I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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