I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
