yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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