I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
