When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
