420 ftw
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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