imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
