I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize