dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
