I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
