My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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