Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your cock deserves a montage
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
