bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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