I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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