"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
