I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
