I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
