it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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