Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
