Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I look better un-naked...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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