So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
