What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
