He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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