dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So vagazzling was a success
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
