Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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