Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
