I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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