Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
