So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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