I got chris browned last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
