just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
