Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
