the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
