you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize