Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
