I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
