I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
