I could make wine with my vomit
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
