I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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