I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
