hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
