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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing mittens dude

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  checkmate.

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