You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
