Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
