just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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