I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
